2004-01-28 - 02:53

"PK is nice even when she doesn't want to be." J said this about me a couple years ago.

This got tested tonight pretty strongly.

I remain adamant in sustaining this.

I write this here to strengthen my ability to uphold this.

SOmeone is abusing this about me and treating me quite ick-i-ly.

I remain ever-so, because that's how I am programmed.

But oh how sometimes I just want to cry and ask "Please, can't you stop and consider the whole big picture here?"

Deep breaths, time alone...Reading wise words like Pema Chodron...Sitting with handmade gifts from loved ones...Reminders that giving out only healing compassionate energy is what I need to keep doing.

People all want to be good...this one will realize that the path of hurt will only come back to them eventually, and as Ghandi said so well:

"In this cause, I too am prepared to die, but my friends, there is no cause for which I am prepared to kill. Whatever they do to us, we will attack no one, kill no one. They will imprison us; they will fine us; they will seize our possessions; but they cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them. I am asking you to fight against their anger, not to provoke it. We will not strike a blow, but we will receive them; and through our pain, we will make them see their injustice. And it will hurt, as all fighting hurts. But we cannot lose. They may torture my body, break my bones, even kill me-then they will have my dead body, not my obedience."

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