2004-02-20 - 10:57

12 Reasons Why Homosexuals Should Not Be Allowed to

Marry

(from Craigslist -- Rants & Raves)

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses,

polyester, and birth

control.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid becasue they

produce children. Infertile

couples and old people can't legally get married

because the world needs more

children.

3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children,

since straight parents only

raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay

marriage is allowed, since

Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was

meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time

and hasn't changed at all;

women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and

divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the

courts, because the

majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have

historically protected the

rights of the minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a

theocracy like ours, the

values of one religion are imposed on the entire

counrty. That's why we have

only one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in

the same way that hanging

around tall people will make you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all

kinds of crazy behavior.

People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog

has legal standing and

can sign a marriage contract.

10. Children can never suceed without a male and a

female role model at home.

That's why single parents are forbidden to raise

children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of

society. Heterosexual marriage

has been around for a long time, and we could never

adapt to new social norms

because we haven't adapted to things like cars or

longer lifespans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits

as marriage with a

different name are better, because a "seperate but

equal" institution is always

constitutional. Seperate schools for African-Americans

worked just as well as

seperate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

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